I am by no means an expert on marriage. My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and dated for about five before that. We are high school sweethearts, as they say, having started dating in our junior year of high school. So, as you can imagine, we know each other pretty well. We know what each other’s quirks and irritants are, we know how each other processes words and emotions and we know how important kindness is to each other. We are connected in the best way.
Sometimes, we have seasons where we do this incredibly well. Seasons where we are attuned to each other constantly, where phones and TV and the internet come last, and where we are incredibly intentional about being connected. We are a team, a partnership, a family first. What I am finding is that we do this well in the easy seasons, the seasons of margin, both financially and time-wise. We are more connected when we aren’t stressed and worried and frustrated.
The hard work of marriage comes when things are less than perfect. Free time seems extraterrestrial, foreign almost. Money is tight, and the dog has yet again eaten a loaf of bread on the counter. Something breaks, something stops working, time is sparse, and tensions are high. It’s those seasons, those moments when the hard work of marriage becomes crucial. It requires us to sit down, turn off the tv, and sit on our huge comfy couch, tea in hand, and focus on the people we are in that moment. It forces us to be kind, make plans, and listen well. Are we thankful? Are we being encouraging? Did I speak lovingly to you today? Did we spend time together? Have we prayed today? Those questions and more importantly, the answers, are so vital because they force us to sit down and connect, when distraction and ignorance are so tempting.
What we are finding, in our short time of marriage, is that marriage is so beautiful, and wonderful, and fun, but that there are seasons where it is hard, and requires lots of gentle pressure, forgiveness and lots of love. It requires sacrifice, over and over, everyday. It requires faith, and a constant re-evaluation of how we are connecting in every moment. I am thankful for the amazing man that I married, the man of quiet courage, the man of incredible discipline and strength. He is on the kindest people I have ever met, and one of the funniest. I am thankful that I am able to do life with a person so loving, faithful, and honest. He is my best friend, my family, and the person I immediately think of when something funny happens or I have a story I have to tell. He is my person.
Let your spouse know that you are here for them, today. That you are for them, that you are in every way rooting for them. Have a hard conversation, turn off the tv, and grab a cup of tea. Connect. Forgive. Love that beautiful person God gave you.
Happy Sunday!! 🙂